Monday, May 6, 2013

Man Code Violations - Spring into Summer Issue


So let’s get right into it!  Men we must stop making excuses for non manly behavior. What I mean by this is that simply putting a “Pause” or “No Homo” behind suspect statements does NOT make them ok! And with that being said lets get rid of “No Homo” and “Pause” all together.  As a grown ass man if whoever you are talking to may think your gay because you said something that could be taking out of context then……. You need better friends or you are in fact Homosexual and just don’t know it yet (which is fine if that is what you’re into).

We also must stop idolizing entertainers. Lil Wayne is 5’6, 125lbs soak and wet. He can wear tight pants and still look cool to kids. But us grown men of that regular size and plus size should not be trying to squeeze into nothing but some Vagina. Listen, if you and your lady take off your pants the same way… (laying on the bed and wiggling out of them) then you have failed in life. Rule of thumb: If you can not grab loose change out of your pocket without struggling, you are in Violation of the Mancode. 

Man purses are another disturbing trend. Most of the time a “murse” is needed because a man's pants is to tight to fit his wallet in. See how shit rolls down hill? 

Now more and more straight men are getting lap dogs? Really? A dog is man's best friend and should be a reflection of you.  And here lies my issue with women. If you see a grown ass man holding a lap dog, wearing a man purse and some skinny’s...and you still give him your number and eventually the drawers, men will think this shit is cool! On the other hand if you went by the motto “pants tight as mine...don’t waste your time”, men would think twice about shopping in the women’s department.

Now back to the dog thing. Taz asked me what dog I would be walking then. That’s easy, an Akita…. It don’t do a lot of barking but it will fuck something up! Rule of thumb here: your dog should be no less than 1/3 of your body weight. I can do this all day but unfortunately my time is up this issue.

Do you have a question or a man code violation you want to report?  Email: 

written by

Jokes for Royalty Magazine

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